What Anxiety Can Feel Like

When I have anxiety, it feels like something  really, really bad is about to happen. It feels uncontrollable. I sometimes feel extremely nauseas. I feel like I need to scream but can’t. I feel shaky. I feel trapped. I feel restless. I feel like time isn’t moving. In fact, I feel like I’m more in tune with the present moment than ever when I have anxiety. I feel uncontrollable - like I need to control it, but it’s impossible. 

And when I am about to have a panic attack, my whole body starts to feel like it’s filling up with anxious blood that’s about to burst. Like I am literally about to die (no exaggeration). And that something really bad is taking over my body.

I feel like certain coping methods don’t always work in those moments. Often times, I just have to get through them. Sometimes, I need to let out a big cry. Other times, I’ll go to my breath. Although that doesn’t seem to always provide the instant relief I need. Sometimes I feel like when I focus on my breath during a really anxious moment, it almost makes it worse because I become too aware of how I am feeling by being cognizant of my breath. And when I am anxious, my breath either gets short, or really fast. So when I become too aware of that, I’ll freak out more. 

What does feel good to me is touch. When my husband gives me a tight hug (hugging can actually increase our oxytocin levels, which can reduce our blood pressure).

Or when I tell him or a friend what’s going on. It just helps that they know. That I voiced it out loud. And also writing down how I am feeling helps, too. I actually wrote this post when I started having crazy anxiety/almost a panic attack. It helped to describe how I felt. 

Anxiety attacks can be tricky when they keep getting worse and worse each minute. What works for me, may not work for you - but it never hurts to try different things to help your well-being. Often times, I can’t do much in the moment when my anxiety is high. I just have to get through it. After I get through it, I’ll practice calming techniques that can hopefully help prevent the next one. 

I’ll also try and dissect where the anxiety is coming from (after my anxiety subsides). I don’t always rush to do this; sometimes the answers take a while. And sometimes I don’t always know. And that’s the hardest. Or sometimes I feel like it can be energy I picked up when I’m out. Or sometimes I feel like it’s something I’m anticipating but don’t know what. 

Whatever the case, I accept it. I know the anxiety will pass at some point. It might come back again, but the more I accept it, the more it lessens my anxious mind. Because I’m not fighting it. I’m feeling it and letting it be.